Up and Down

Up and Down. I guess it is the way of life. The way of the world. One day you are up the next day you are down. For me it sometimes goes from morning to afternoon. Unbeatable in the morning, beaten in the afternoon. This was yesterday. I felt very positive about the possibilities in the morning. I had just received my “promotional” books the day before, one for my paintings and another for the”I’ll kick Your Ass” comic strip. I felt like things were happening, moving and could be poised to take off. Naive and silly thoughts considering my past experiences in trying to promote art.

Maybe because I had gotten a haircut the day before and updated my wardrobe the week before I felt things were changing. I was making moves, but was I really? A new haircut always cheers me up. Crazy right? 

I went to Barnes and Noble to do some magazine research the way I had done years ago. I was pleasantly surprised to see the amount of Illustration still being used in magazines today. But somewhere along the way doubt crept it. After eating my Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup cookie and drinking my Caramel Macchiato I sat in the cafe with some magazines trying to find the mastheads. I began to lose steam. What was the point? Would the books even get looked at? Would they be returned? (I will do postcards in the future but for the strip a book seemed like the best idea). I got what I came for but drove home despondent. As much positive feedback as I receive on all three fronts illustration, painting and the comic the battle still somehow seems completely uphill. That combined with doubts of the day in my personal life seemed to be too much. I briefly considered hopping the train from Connecticut to New York City and maybe hook up with some friends or just play it by ear. Trips to the city almost always cheer me up as well. Money being an issue I decided against it.

I did regain some momentum and finish three comic strips I had started the day before. Scanning them and cleaning them up in Photoshop. I ate a horrible dinner and went to bed. Doubt weighing heavy.

I started up and ended down. I’ll see what this week brings.Image



About asskickinjim

Painter, Illustrator and cartoonist on a journey to find out how art fits into his life http://on.fb.me/WVIjAl
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2 Responses to Up and Down

  1. dougcondon says:

    Don’t give up. If you make art because you love it then even if no one ever recognizes you it will still be time well spent!

    • asskickinjim says:

      Doug, it is almost always done because I feel the need to do it and the fulfillment it gives me. The “obsessive act” you so accurately described in your blog. That is the feeling I always hope to find. I want to make it part of a career but if it doesn’t happen I know the times I have done art and achieved that feeling is more than time well spent! Thanks and keep up the good work you have been doing.

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