A change came over me recently after a difficult experience. My eyes were opened and I made the active decision to be more disciplined, to love myself more and do what needed to be done to take care of myself.
Much to my surprise It wasn’t terribly difficult; maybe because I knew it was coming and I had just been avoiding it and putting it off.
Recently I purchased two books that have given me a place to start from. I had already started the process and was doing okay but to have some structure and guidance even if it were just words on a page helped me along.
The books are Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change by Pema Chodron and The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo. Both books stress the importance of being present in ones own life.
Be fully present.
Feel your heart.
And engage the next moment without an agenda.
That is from the first book I mentioned but both books encourage this principle. I have begun to do this by separating myself from my phone when possible. Not an easy task in the world today. Especially when you are trying to figure out how to promote yourself as an artist using social networking. I was doing more than that. I was obsessing and checking my phone constantly for messages and contact on Facebook and Instagram. I had turned into one of those people. The people I never understood before I owned a “smart” phone. I always thought “what could they possibly be doing that is so interesting on their phones” ? I found out, there is quite a bit you can do with your phone, especially if you are constantly messaging with people. Every moment of down time I had I was checking the phone for “updates”. I knew it had to stop.
When going to lunch with my father recently I left the phone in the car or dinner with my parents at home I will shut it off and leave it in my jacket. Just last night I decided to let it charge overnight in the kitchen instead of the night stand. So I wouldn’t be tempted to wake up in the middle of the night to see what was happening online.
It is a small step in a much longer journey. I realize now how much harm I was causing myself by focusing more on my phone than I was on myself and the people immediately around me.
There are many ways to “Be Fully Present”. I am trying to figure out which ones work for me. Appreciating the living, breathing world around me is one way. The feel of the sun, the sound of a friends voice , the smell of a flower, even a moment of pain or heartache. Take it in feel it and set it free. Accept it as part of living but don’t let it defeat you.
like one of my favorite Artists Bjork sings in Alarm Call ” I’m no fucking buddhist but this is enlightenment”
That is sort of how I feel. I like the Buddhist philosophy, maybe I will embrace it more one day but for now I’ll start by being less attached to my phone and live one breath at a time.