two forward one back

So in my new found journey to be more Fully Present I had a slight misstep recently. I blame it some on a long day, getting tattooed with the addition of alcohol afterwords. I will be the first to admit getting tattooed is never really fun, my body hates me during and afterwords and I should just go home and rest instead of trying to make a night of it.

The problem is I live in Connecticut and my tattoo artist is in NYC. So when I go to the city I try and make the most of it sometimes to my own detriment.

I am sort of in this situation. Not really with the question being asked but the answer and advice being given by Captain Awkward. What she tells this person applies to me pretty directly and I haven’t really accepted that reality just yet. From a distance it is much easier to deal with and in time I think it will be even easier. It only takes a second or two to rear its ugly head and make you feel like the progress you’ve made was all for nothing.

I can say however it was short lived. the next morning I awoke in my friends apartment and made my way to Grand Central Terminal to take the Metro North back to Connecticut. The Uptown F train service wasn’t as good as usual and I had a decision to make when arriving on 42nd street. Do I rush to GCT to catch the train or maybe take a few minutes to enjoy Bryant Park on a Sunday morning?  I could have made the 10:07 train but it would have already been crowded. So I decided on the park.

I realized this was one of the first times since reconnecting with my NYC friends that I had actually taken a time out. I did so on my first visit back when I went to the MOMA and sat in the sculpture garden and drank a beer and watched the people. Since that first time it has always been something: Somewhere to be, someone to see, an appointment or a party. I sat in the sun (it has been a chilly spring so far in the Northeast) and looked at the clear blue sky, lush grass, the new flowers blooming along the sidewalk and ever present Bistro-Style green chairs. I was fully present even if just for a moment. I had no agenda, no real plan for the next moment or rest of the day. (Aside from catching my train, which didn’t take much thought) I was happy to be moving on from the night before and starting the process of starting over on my journey of awakening and becoming.

In full disclosure I did snap a picture of the city skyline looking south and posted it to Facebook. I added to the caption that I was taking a moment to enjoy the city on a quiet Sunday morning instead of rushing to catch my train home. A lot of people liked it and one friend even commented:  Taking your example & standing on the street corner in the sun.

That made it even more worthwhile.



About asskickinjim

Painter, Illustrator and cartoonist on a journey to find out how art fits into his life
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